This was originally released as a newsletter last December, but I thought I would post it in my little blog as it’s an important topic. It discusses the unfortunate occurrences of public shaming and client exposure by providers on platforms such as Twitter in the past.

Let me be unequivocally clear: I do not condone nor endorse the actions of individuals who disregard boundaries, reject screening protocols, resort to derogatory language, or engage in threatening, stalking, or coercive behaviours towards providers. As a provider myself, and above all, as a human being, my foremost priorities are to safeguard the well-being of our community and uphold the rights and integrity of every individual.

It is imperative to recognize that while maintaining safety within our community is paramount, it must be done so with respect for the dignity and privacy of all involved. As advocates for human rights, it is paramount that we navigate these complex issues with sensitivity, empathy, and a commitment to ethical conduct.

Couple things to address here.

Ensuring client satisfaction is crucial for maintaining a successful business. That’s an obvious. But what if they hurt you in a capacity that you think warrants public exposure? It’s important to consider the consequences of such actions. Will this help the situation get better or does it have the capacity to spiral? How is this going to enhance your business’s reputation going forward?Will it align with the image you want to portray to your clients? (I.e. trustworthiness, reliability, honesty, etc.). Furthermore, how will this contribute to the well-being of the community as a whole? It’s easy to overlook the broader implications of our actions, but it’s important to remember that we operate within a community, and the decisions of a few can impact the entire industry. If a group of providers begins posting photos of clients for forgivable mistakes, it could erode trust among potential clients who are already hesitant about sharing personal information. This not only risks damaging your own business reputation, but could also have severe consequences for the client involved, potentially jeopardizing their personal relationships. Moreover, such actions could provide ammunition for incels and trolls to resist providing screening information, further complicating efforts to maintain safety within the industry.

Ultimately, these actions not only undermine individual businesses but also threaten the collective well-being of the community. It’s imperative to exercise discretion and consider the long-term effects of our choices to ensure the continued prosperity of the industry as a whole. I believe an important question for us to ask ourselves prior to doing something so permanent, is ‘are there any other avenues I can take?’

I can’t tell you how many times in my 10 years of experience I’ve encountered familiar faces time and time again. My goal has always been to ensure that my interactions leave a positive and lasting impression, as you never know when our paths may cross once again. In my opinion, it’s invaluable to leave a parting impression with kindness, as maintaining positive connections is essential in any field. This is not to suggest you respond to unwanted advances or harassment with butterflies and rainbows. But it’s crucial to recognize that publicly bashing or exposing someone serves no constructive purpose.  

And let me be clear, I’m not referring to predators whose names must be made public to safeguard the community; that’s an entirely different matter. Instead, I’m addressing the practice of exposing clients’ personal information for minor infractions, likely due to their lack of awareness. In such cases, just ignoring them can be the easiest route. Or, if you believe they possess potential, taking the time to communicate and educate them can lead to positive outcomes. It’s important to recognize that people grow and they change (again, not talking about predators), so engaging in private discussions to address their behaviour, rather than resorting to public shaming, can have numerous benefits— for your business, the relationship, and the community at large.